Non-Muslim Heritage (NMH) African-Caribbean respondent Rahima captured the essence of a primary theme in this research. She described the descendants of economic migrant parents in Britain as part of a ‘lost’ generation, a term similar to Bauman’s (2017) ‘outcast generation’: those “ill-prepared to cope with [the] novel challenges” of post-war Europe (Bauman 2017:1).
We are the ‘lost’ generation. (Rahima).
The potency of Rahima’s statement was underscored when a cross-cultural analysis of the conversion narratives of both NMH and Muslim-Heritage (MH) respondents highlighted two frequently occurring sentiments: one of feeling “lost”, and the other of sensing “something missing”, signifying that respondents were caught somewhere between the “solid modern structures and cultures of the early to mid-20th century and the relativism of post-modernity, where … certainty was being lost” (Lawson in Bauman 2017: ix).
Respondents experienced these sentiments in myriad ways, but they usually manifested during adolescence. Kroger (2007) defines this period as a crucial stage in identity development (Kroger 2000:xi), while Erikson (1968) describes it as a turning point in an individual’s life where one “is propelled to seek answers or resolutions to questions of life’s meaning and one’s purpose in it” (Kroger 2000:13). As one respondent explained:
I listened to Satanic music, heavy metal…believing there must be no God otherwise there would be no chaos. So, I called upon ‘Iblis’ (Satan), I looked Satanic in black, having upside down crosses, skulls necks all over my blacked-out room. I did the Ouija board with friends who were into witchcraft calling upon Jinns and Satan. It’s a blessing I didn’t get possessed; Allah protected me. I was searching, but I was so lost. (Anonymous)
For most respondents, adolescence was a time of acute identity crisis, especially for those who had experienced a difficult childhood: feelings of negativity and sadness resulted from certain life-changing events, such as losing a parent, being raised by a single parent addicted to drugs and alcohol or an overbearing mother or grandmother, being a child of divorced parents, living in foster care or a children’s home, being a refugee or having racist or Islamophobic experiences.
Particularly alarming was the case of Aisha, a second-generation British African-Caribbean respondent who, as a child, was abused by a male relative for many years, and much later learnt that she was also the victim of a high-profile paedophile ring. Aisha referred to her own conversion story as a “journey” and felt that a damaged childhood and its ensuing trauma had triggered a ripple effect in her adult life that was particularly apparent in the insecurities she felt. This is congruent with Giddens’ (1990) theory that the “origins of [ontological] security … are to be found in early childhood” (Giddens:1994/1990:94). Likewise, for Erikson, “the significance of trust in the context of early child development … is at the heart of a lasting ego-identity”, and subsequently forms “a basis of stable self-identity” (Giddens:1994/1990:94).
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